Best thing to do at midnight

I've personally found one of the most rewarding things in life to do at midnight is to call international ;). Mind you this works better if either 1) It's not 4 am or 2) they're up even though it IS 4 am. It was a blast, a smashing good time . Got to love those sexy British accents. Of course he had to make fun of our accents at least once. I think one of the hilights was when he was talking about.... well everything. Sadly enough I don't remember half the conversation now that it's ended.

Best Conversation

So here is just a snippit of an IM conversation between me and my friend

ms. cracké says (7:32 pm):
I'll get busy inventing a resurrection machine
abby says (7:32 pm):
what will you call it? :O
ms. cracké says (7:33 pm):
Revenge B)
abby says (7:34 pm):
omg. that is awesome. ROFL

I don't know why but I found the whole conversation insanely amusing. I must be tired

Losing interest

I realized now that I am slowly starting to lose interest in all the things that kept me sane while at university. For example I don't visit certain sites as much as I used to, don't talk to certain people as much as I used to. The whole world is starting to bore me to the point where I just want to curl back into my shell and forget about everything.

Always

It seems sad that some of the people I used to talk to every day online I hvaen't talked to in a while. It seems even sadder that I don't remember most of them. It's also sad to think of losing what was once a great friendshipper over a little bit of drama. However it's true that it's impossible to go through life unscathed. Nearly everyone is going to be betrayed by somone at some point during theior lifetime. Wheather it be by the leader of their country, someone they look to as a role model, a relative or a trusted friend, chances are you will feel that utter heartbreak that comes iwth knowing you have been betrayed. Something like that just cuts a person to the soul. And that's what drama is most often about. betrayal. (continue this later when I have more to say)

Upcomming projects

I've decided to use this blog a little bit differently for a while. I have decided that I would like to write a short memoir of my life. While it may not contain everything I remember about my life, it will contain enough. So look for that in the upcomming days. I will try to be as thorough as possible with the details, and try to make it interesting to read, but I realize this might be hard at times, since some of the events I can't even put into chronological order even, but whatever. Expect to see the first instalment very soon. It will have it's own category so it can be picked out easily. Enjoy!

Keeping On Track

I've noticed that one of the hardest things about University is keeping on top of things. There are always assignments to work on, readings to do, and if it's not this weeks assignments then there are always next weeks assignments, or just general studying to do. Whenever you have an idle moment, you are filled with the knowledge that there is something else you could be doing, something more productive. If you don't keep up with the reading, it's so easy to fall behind, and it's even easier to never catch up. Right now I have sort of fallen behind in my CS 251 readings. I keep meaning to catch up, but every time there is something more pressing to work on, some assignment to do, or cleaning to do, or a million other things. Fortunately I am not so far behind that it is impossible to catch up at this point. It will just require a little bit of effort is all. But last semester, I fell so far behind in history that I never really caught up. I didn't do some of the readings and just read the summaries before the test. This was reflected in a mark that was somewhat disappointing and lower then I expected. Then again, last semester in general was somewhat disappointing. It's also easy to underestimate your workload, and not give yourself enough time to complete your assignments. This can lead to either loss of sleep or just not doing the assignment period. Both of these are terrible habits to get into. Speaking of sleep, I think I need to catch up on some right now so catch you later

Unkept Promises

It seems that I always promise myself that I will keep up with my blog but I never do. And it's not simply that I have nothing to write about. I have several "notes", of stuff that could use some attention in the future. But I never seem to have time. Or else, when I do have time, I seem to forget about it. I never did edit the post about cool sites, though I will get around to that some day. I also have a post written out on scrap paper waiting to be typed up. It was because I had no access to my blog at the time. A lot of interesting things have happened this year. I got a new cell phone, along with one of those fab 5 plans. The most annoying part was trying to get things activated since none of it seemed to have been set up properly. I also had to spend many long hours arguing with my the company providing my DSL service, first to convince them there was something wrong, then to convince them not to keep sending it back to the central office, and then to actually get someone to come fix it. But it's fixed now. It's also been a new experience living on my own and cooking for myself since this is the first time I have ever lived truly on my own. But now I must go study for a test tommorow so I'll blog more later.

Never To Old

Do you remember your younger days, days filled with fun, when Disney films were the coolest things, and every one of your friends dreamed of being a princess? Well it seems you are never to old for that kind of thing. I remember watching the Little Mermaid when I was a little girl and loving the Disney version of it (as opposed to the Brothers grim version where the man she loves dies). Now, or at some point within the last ten years, Disney released a new Little Mermaid movie. I'm quite sure that in true Disney fashion, they would have, as a sequel, released it straight to DVD which would explain why I would have never heard of it before. Anyways a friend told me about it, "The Little Mermaid: Arial's beginning" and so I proceeded to watch it. I might have thought, that at 19, I was to old for such things, but no. I laughed, and at times cried, my way through the whole thing and it was amazing, It serisouly made me feel like a little kid again. Thanks again Disney!

Blog about blogs

This post will eventaulyl be replaced with an in depth look at my favourite blogs. Or maybe just an in depth look into Gen's blog, and a list of all my favourite blogs. Or maybe just an in depth look at Gen's blog :D. This stub is a reminder to me to expand it so I don't forget what I wanted to blog about

A Morbid tale

I'm only putting this here for now because I am to lazy to put it on my website.

“But how much glue do we used to bind the materials together?” they asked the man standing before them.

“More than a dollop and less then a wallop” the man replied. But that was the kind of answer they had come to expect from this man who considered himself an artist, and what they were doing art. As an artist, he told them, he could not give others some recipe to greatness. They had to learn the judgment of true art for themselves.

Both men could appreciate that if what they were doing was art. But the morbid collections of wood, metal, glue and human flesh before them could hardly be considered art. Either their supervisor was nuts, or this artist facade was his way of dealing with the awful duty assigned to him by the higher ups. There was a distinct possibility of both being true.

Many of those working for these evil men suffered some sort of mental breakdown. The trauma of all the things they did, all the things they saw, was just to much for a man to handle. Those who didn’t show some sign of mental deterioration after the first month were usually gathered up by the high ones and taken away for some other duty. For those were the ones without a conscious.

These two men were fine so far, neither having suffered very much mentally. They had both lasted three months without being transferred. But less who weren’t driven insane were transferred from their detail since they only worked as part of the cleanup crew. There was less stress involved since those they dealt with didn’t resemble anything even close to a human any more.

Their tasks were simple. To take the “leftovers”, and other materials, and follow simple designs in an attempt to turn them into something useful for the higher ups. A way of recycling the mess if you will. So far they had little success, for they lacked the sophisticated tools and training needed to make something of value.

The men were glad they did not have the tools and training they needed. It was easier to watch one creation after another slip down the disposal chute, then to live knowing they produced something in which an ingredient was human flesh. They feared that if they did succeed, it would only prompt more killings. Killings so they could mass produce whatever it was, and ship it off to distant countries so that they could fund their ongoing war with the people of neighbouring Isandule. A war of metal creations, and not one that required real people, or a real army.

The two men had had real names once. Back before they decided to join that which pretended to call itself a government. But after they had joined and been sent to this cleanup center, they had come to be known only as TY2200 and X3000. Even the man before them had forgotten his name. He was known to them only as Sir, or B22.

B22 had come long before the others. He had been working for the so called government for years. The number 22 indicated that. He was the 22^nd supervisor to be appointed, in the first group of supervisors to be appointed Each group was 3000 strong at it’s fullest. As were the executive branch, Bs were the supervisors, everything else were the pawns, that was how it had always been. Everyone reduced to a series of letters and numbers. Only the highest powers were allowed to keep their names. Not that it mattered.

The pwns, and even the supervisors and executive branch were meaningless to the higher ups. When a person died, his or her identity was re-assigned to someone else. When they ran out of numbers, if they ran out of numbers, they would start expanding the groups to 6000 each.

B22, he knew he was the first B22. A twisted achievement. Looking at the men before him hew knew he was looking at the third TY2200, and the seventeeth X3000. Unlucky number that one. But it didn’t matter. None of it mattered. Not anymore.

Partying back to the old days

Last night I went and celebrated a friends birthday with a bunch of friends. This party brought back memories of the simpler times. Memories of childhood, and the days when party did not mean a bunch of teenagers drinking till they puke. It was a simple affair, supper at a local restaurant followed by swimming, rock band, junk food, and chatting at somebodies house. It reminded me so much of the parties from when I was young. Home made birthday cake, balloons everywhere, confetti guns, and glows ticks from the dollar store. The only thing missing was the traditional party games. All in all it was a fun night. It reminded me of the simpler days, and that you don't need to get drunk to have fun.

fustrating creativity

So I was brainstorming some ideas for the novel I am working on, War of the Dragons: Dragon's Orb (tentative), and wrote a lot of them down on paper, meaning to come back and actually write the section I was brainstorming for today. However when I got down to writing, I looked over my notes and was reminded that I had decided one of the major characters needed to be able to use basic magic. However I hadn't written any of this down, so of course now I know that the character needs basic magic, but I can't for the life of me figure out why. I think it had something to do with the section I am in the process of writing, but it doesn't really fit in why it would be important. I am regretting that I didn't go and update her character sheet as soon as I made the descision and write down why she needs to use magic as part of my brainstorming notes yesterday. That would have made life a whole lot easier.

Update: I remembered what I wanted her to have magic for :P

At Home a Failure but free

So I recently finished up my first year of university, ending with exams. I got my grades back and barely passed two of my courses. I also found out that I failed my calculus course.... badly. And I thought I would be done with calculus for good. Looks like I will have to retake it next semester because it's a requirement for my program.

However a great weight has been listed from my chest and I feel better then ever. Although just writing this post, and reminding me of my failures has brought down my mood.

The State of Progress

Some random ramblings while I am way stressed out and suffering from lack of sleep due to exams, a stupid body, and just all around poor sleeping habits.

While waiting for my windows updates to configure (finally! I had been putting them off for like 2 days seriously. I know it's bad. It was my computer freezing that finally made me reboot), I had some sudden revelations I thought I would share with you.

First of all, I've realized I prefer the percentage completed to just stay at 0 % then to slowly (very slowly!) increase 1 % at a time. At least if it stays at 0 % I can feel like I'm not getting anywhere, but if it increases 1 % at a time at a very slow rate, I feel like I am actually getting smoewhere when in reality I am no better off then if the progress were not increasing at all. My rationalization behind it: in both situations it will still take an eternity to get to 100 %, so I would rather not kid myself into believing there is any real progress there.

Second of all, the most annoying thing is when it hangs there at 100 %. It feels like finally reaching your destination, only to realize that wasn't where you needed (or wanted) to be in the first place. It annoys me to no end, since if the update configuration is 100 % complete, there shouldn't be anything left to do.

The same thoughts can be applied elsewhere in life too. When someone says they are almost finished when the only work they have done is the trivial stuff, it's like the slowly increasing progress. They still have a long way to go, and they really haven't made any progress in the first place. The 100 % complete thing, is like anytime someone says they have completed something but can't show you the completed progress or there is something left to do. "I have it finished I just need to send it to you, it's done I just need to file it". If the last step isn't done, then you really aren't done and shouldn't claim to be done.

And those are my random ramblings on the state of progress.

To reason or to gain

Besides the fact that I am an awesome blogger, given the fact that I can't even remember when my last post is, I am back and I will get right into it.

Today I heard someone commenting on his own ability to think critically, commenting on how he always took an unbiased view of the world. Yet he went on to say that it was due to this unbiased view that he had no opinion on anything.

After last semesters experiments in the world of critical thinking I have learned some things. Yes it is important to take an unbiased view of issues. But the reason being able to look without bias is so important is because it is only then that we can decide, with certainty and without prejudice, what view we want to take.

In effect, by looking only at the unbiased view of things, this individual has undermined the very reason we try to remove bias. So we can get the big picture, so we can make up our own minds. And for what reason? So that he can continue to claim he is completely unbiased? In my opinion, it is a stupid claim, for no good reason.

I once asked for views on a certain book in a certain forum, claiming I had yet to form an opinion of my own. Besides being accused of attempting to write an essay without reading the novel, I was flamed for not being able to form an opinion of my own. I have grown since then, and know how this matters.

I think of it this way, looking at a new bill being proposed in parliament. You could look at both the pros and cons of passing the bill, take a completely unbiased look at what is being proposed and the possible effects it will have on society. But at the end of the day, what does that mean if you can't decide weather or not to pass the bill. Yes the arguments and examples are rudimentary, but I think I am getting my point across.

By reasoning without opinions, what really is there to gain?

Myth Vs. Religion

A little while ago I was having a discussion with some people about what makes it right to call something a myth, especially when referring to stories closely related to religion. In particular, someone wondered why we call Atlantis a myth, or why we call the Greek stories of the gods a myth when to them it was religion.

I have done some thinking since then. My history book talks about how about how religion for the ancient greeks wasn't so much about belief but about unity, ceremony, and ritual. It was not about morals or doctrine That got me to thinking. It got me to thinking about how the Greek (and Roman) gods were ungodlike. They created gods to watch over every aspect of lifes, but these gods were not godly. The stories they told attributed them with human characteristics such as lust, passion, and lust for power. In the gods they created their ideals of the perfect humans but their myths and stories ensured that they would always be identified as such, humans.

Good News and Bad News

There is some good news and bad news today. The good news is that I think I was right in choosing History. My professor is really good at getting the information through and making the lecture come alive. The bad news is that I don't think I will be playing hockey this semester. We didn't manage to get our team organized in time. So no hockey for me. Unless I can find a team to join that it. I don't know if I would want to play with random people though.

What is the What

First of all, I have to say that the book on which this title is based is an amazing book. It's very deep but also sad as it tells the tale of one of the Sudanese lost boys. The collaboration between the other and the story teller, the one who experienced it all first hands, gives the book depth and meaning. I am only about half way through because of my return to university, but the book is so good. It is one of those books that flip flops in time and space, but in a clear way, directed by the characters thinking, and by his memories. But the book is not the entire reason for this post.

The book makes reference to an old tale where the Dinka people were asked by G_d if the wanted to trade the cows they had been given for the what. This made them ask "What is the What" and supposedly people are still asking that question. Now, after reading this in the story, I had to pause and think for a bit, and ask myself "What is the what". To me, the what is anything to do with the unknown. Or rather it is anything that makes you ask, "what," and anything that makes you take that leap of faith out of your comfort zone, in hopes of a better future. Many people take that leap every day when they leave their job to find a new one, move to a new city or even a new country, or just leave everything behind to start a new life, in hopes of a better future for their children.

I believe we are faced with the what nearly every day. There are always people asking us to step out of our comfort zone. For me, coming to university was a big what. When I applied to my program, I sort of decided without much reasons, what program I wanted to do, and what university I wanted to go to. I wasn't sure if I was doing the right thing, and I wasn't sure if I would be able to succeed here. When I start co-op in the summer, it may also be another what for me. Potentially I could end up working in a position in which I have to learn a new skill set for the job. I also could end up living away from home. That was part of the what of univeristy. Because I chose to go to a school out of my area, I ended up living away from home for the first time. And not only that, I was far enough away that I could not come home for weekends. But I knew that when I was coming here, but chose to come for all the benefits I thought it could offer me.

But these are just my opinions. So next time you are on a quiet street, ask yourself "What is the what". I would love to know what you come up with.