Test Jitters

So this morning I had to take a test. But not a normal kind of test. It was a test that would measure 28 different things, including attention, processing speed, and impulse control. What made me nervous was not just the test itself, but was the fact that it was being used to test how well the new meds are working. I feel like the meds are working, but then I thought that too, sort of, about the old meds and guess what? They did nothing.

It's not just that. I worry that they might actually be working but I might screw up on the test. What if I'm just not fast enough? What if the test is just too hard? All these things get me down. I feel like it's my fault the other medication wasn't working, and that I wasn't working up to my full potential. I think I would have felt disheartened if I found out the new meds weren't working either.

The good news is the new meds are working as well as can be expected, which is pretty darn good. The bad news is... well there is no bad news, at least not on this front. But now I feel silly for putting myself through a pointless bought of midnight worry, all for nothing.