So I just realized I haven't posted here in forever. Literally, the last time I posted I was talking about my recent nuptials. A lot has happened in the past four years. My husband and I completed our sponsorship journey and he immigrated to Canada. I got pregnant just before the onset of the pandemic giving birth in the summer of 2020. I got a promotion at work. Mostly I have just been enjoying this crazy adventure called parenthood. Mostly this was just a quick update about what has been going on in my life immortalized forever on my personal blog.
Saturday, September 10, 2022
Saturday, June 2, 2018
Wedding
So lots of news here. I'm getting married in August and it has been a traumatic planning to say the least. I couldn't convince my mom to come dress shopping with me and we argued over the reception venue. We had planned to go shopping for her mother of the bride dress weeks ago but mom decided it was much more important to attend the home and garden show as my parents have decided to redo both bathrooms here at the house.
Today I finally got my mom out to pick out her MOB dress. I can't say I actually remember ever seeing my mom in a dress before. We managed to find a dress quickly enough that we had time for shoe shopping as well. Somehow my mom ended up picking the exact same shoe as the one I chose for my reception but in a different color. I'm not upset, I think its quite cute. I find it interesting how my mom relies on me for fashion advice and I, in turn, rely on my friends.
I'm glad to have this done with as I am still waiting to hear back from my florist to discuss boutineres and corsages. I guess at some point I should mention that the man I am marrying is not the man I blogged about but the man I have been seeing for just under 3 years now. We're happy together and I can't wait to marry him.
Today I finally got my mom out to pick out her MOB dress. I can't say I actually remember ever seeing my mom in a dress before. We managed to find a dress quickly enough that we had time for shoe shopping as well. Somehow my mom ended up picking the exact same shoe as the one I chose for my reception but in a different color. I'm not upset, I think its quite cute. I find it interesting how my mom relies on me for fashion advice and I, in turn, rely on my friends.
I'm glad to have this done with as I am still waiting to hear back from my florist to discuss boutineres and corsages. I guess at some point I should mention that the man I am marrying is not the man I blogged about but the man I have been seeing for just under 3 years now. We're happy together and I can't wait to marry him.
Friday, May 11, 2018
Identity
As I am on the verge of a new beginning, engaged to be married in 3 months, I find myself contemplating the concept of identity. It all started with shoe shopping. One of my bridesmaids commented about needing to buy shoes and I suddenly found myself actually excited to plan a shopping date with my friend. Preparing for this wedding I have found myself embracing some of the more "classically feminine" behaviors. I've come to realize that at 29 years old I'm still trying to figure out who I am. I have embraced the opportunity to try things I never got to do growing up. I didn't go shopping for prom dresses with friends, or pick out shoes, or get my hair done up. Only as an adult have I been able to try these things. I am still trying to figure out what I like or don't like. I'm still trying to understand what it is to be a woman, to be "female."
Not long ago I had an interesting conversation with a co-worker. With gender identity being a topic of conversation these days we were wondering what it actually means to identify as a woman. I can't tell you what makes me who I am or how I know I'm not something different. If we put stereotypes aside there really is no one-size-fits-all definition. Maybe there is a future where we don't have to identify as anything at all, where we can just be who we are without putting labels on it.
Sadly I think we are still a long ways from that.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Been a while
It's been a while since I last posted. A lot has been going on in my life since then. I recently went through some hard times. It involved acceptance of the fact that I have indeed been suffering from depression, something I had long been denying. Plenty of thigns are starting to look up now though. I'm starting to be able to enjoy the good things in life. I'm taking care of myself again.
I even have someone special in my life. I won't go on and on about him as I did before. You don't even need to know his name. Suffice to say he makes me happy and makes me smile each and every single day.
I've also managed to come to terms with my sexuality. I accept who I am. My family still doesn't know, but I don't see any need to tell them. It seems like coming out to them about being bisexual is way to much grief for something that may never be an issue. It's only an issue if the someone special in my life is ever female. Right now that is not happening.
Anyways this was just a little update to say I am still alive and well. I don't know if I'll be writing any more recently as it seems that I tend to right more when I'm unhappy about life, or something is bothering me. This recent crises was the exception becuase I didn't even realize how bad things were getting until they went downhill fast.
Anyways that's life for now.
I even have someone special in my life. I won't go on and on about him as I did before. You don't even need to know his name. Suffice to say he makes me happy and makes me smile each and every single day.
I've also managed to come to terms with my sexuality. I accept who I am. My family still doesn't know, but I don't see any need to tell them. It seems like coming out to them about being bisexual is way to much grief for something that may never be an issue. It's only an issue if the someone special in my life is ever female. Right now that is not happening.
Anyways this was just a little update to say I am still alive and well. I don't know if I'll be writing any more recently as it seems that I tend to right more when I'm unhappy about life, or something is bothering me. This recent crises was the exception becuase I didn't even realize how bad things were getting until they went downhill fast.
Anyways that's life for now.
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Strange night
Last night was a strange night. First of all I fell asleep in front of the tv. My mom came down at 4 in the morning and woke me up. For some reason when she woke me up I started panicking. I think it had something to do with a dream I don't even remember now.
Second of all when I got back to sleep I had a very frightening dream. I was 11 and for some reason I had found evidence against a criminal organization that had appeared in my neighborhood. Only the man in charge knew I had the evidence because he saw me take it. He tried to strangle me but I wouldn't give up the evidence no matter what.
Somehow I got back into the house. I tried to fax the evidence (which was in the form of some sheets of paper) to my mother but one of the bad people picked up the phone and interrupted the fax. There was some part when they were making me dig and were going to bury me alive I think (thank you Criminal Minds?). Only the one guy told me he wanted to help and told me to run and he would distract the boss.
Only when I started to run, he told the boss which way I ran and started coming after me. When they got close I suddenly stopped and started running in the other direction. Somehow I managed to reach the house even though I started getting slower and slower.
Soon my mom and dad got home. Mom realized something was up because there was more food missing from the house then should be. She found the bad guys in the family room and started lecturing them on using other people's stuff. She stuck a medicine ball on one guys head.
She tried to put me to bed but I was so terrified of these guys that I ran out and sat in the van. She sat with me. We had the front doors locked but for some reason the back ones weren't. They started trying to climb in. I kept throwing them out and tried to lock the doors but it was no use. Every time I thought I got them locked the bad guys got them open somehow.
Finally I got everyone out of the car and I managed to get the second in command in handcuffs. Only she got the handcuffs off. So I put another pair on her and was trying to get Hotch (from Criminal Minds) to cuff her legs but he wouldn't intervene. So I kept her under my watch till the police showed up.
I tried to impress on her how important it was to keep the girl locked up but I could tell the police woman didn't believe me. The second in command had dressed herself up to look like a victim who was assulted so that she could get away. I tried to dress her back up as normal as possible but it was hard since I couldn't find her pants.
That's when I woke up.
Second of all when I got back to sleep I had a very frightening dream. I was 11 and for some reason I had found evidence against a criminal organization that had appeared in my neighborhood. Only the man in charge knew I had the evidence because he saw me take it. He tried to strangle me but I wouldn't give up the evidence no matter what.
Somehow I got back into the house. I tried to fax the evidence (which was in the form of some sheets of paper) to my mother but one of the bad people picked up the phone and interrupted the fax. There was some part when they were making me dig and were going to bury me alive I think (thank you Criminal Minds?). Only the one guy told me he wanted to help and told me to run and he would distract the boss.
Only when I started to run, he told the boss which way I ran and started coming after me. When they got close I suddenly stopped and started running in the other direction. Somehow I managed to reach the house even though I started getting slower and slower.
Soon my mom and dad got home. Mom realized something was up because there was more food missing from the house then should be. She found the bad guys in the family room and started lecturing them on using other people's stuff. She stuck a medicine ball on one guys head.
She tried to put me to bed but I was so terrified of these guys that I ran out and sat in the van. She sat with me. We had the front doors locked but for some reason the back ones weren't. They started trying to climb in. I kept throwing them out and tried to lock the doors but it was no use. Every time I thought I got them locked the bad guys got them open somehow.
Finally I got everyone out of the car and I managed to get the second in command in handcuffs. Only she got the handcuffs off. So I put another pair on her and was trying to get Hotch (from Criminal Minds) to cuff her legs but he wouldn't intervene. So I kept her under my watch till the police showed up.
I tried to impress on her how important it was to keep the girl locked up but I could tell the police woman didn't believe me. The second in command had dressed herself up to look like a victim who was assulted so that she could get away. I tried to dress her back up as normal as possible but it was hard since I couldn't find her pants.
That's when I woke up.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Middle School
As I think about it now, I feel like I missed out on something in middle school. Missed out on opportunities maybe. The first school I went to only had kindergarten to grade 6. I had to go to a different school for grade 7 and 8. Now that the other school that fed into the school I went to for grade 7 and 8 also has grade 7 and 8 I feel like the students from my school miss out on things.
It was weird going to a different school that had students who had been there since kindergarten. You felt like an outsider even in your own school. Especially when the students who had been there all along talked about teachers they had and people they knew.
By missing out I mean like the special opportunities given to some students. Many of them went to those who had been at the school for their kindergarten to grade 6 years, becuase they already knew the teachers from being around. Even though they tried to keep the grade 7s and 8s separate from the rest of the school to give them that "middle school experience", there were some things that were shared by all. We had computer classes with the same teachers for example.
I don't know. Looking back I just feel like maybe I would have enjoyed middle school more if I didn't feel like an outsider in my own school.
It was weird going to a different school that had students who had been there since kindergarten. You felt like an outsider even in your own school. Especially when the students who had been there all along talked about teachers they had and people they knew.
By missing out I mean like the special opportunities given to some students. Many of them went to those who had been at the school for their kindergarten to grade 6 years, becuase they already knew the teachers from being around. Even though they tried to keep the grade 7s and 8s separate from the rest of the school to give them that "middle school experience", there were some things that were shared by all. We had computer classes with the same teachers for example.
I don't know. Looking back I just feel like maybe I would have enjoyed middle school more if I didn't feel like an outsider in my own school.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Strange Dreams
I have the strangest dream last night. At some point I dreamed that my cousin was married. Then in my dream he was getting a divorce. Now for some reason in my own dream I had recently separated from a boyfriend... who I think in the dream was some guy I haven't seen in a year. Anyways he didn't really want to talk to it, soays I started crying and he came out and we talked.
Then for some reason I was going out to supper... it was me and someone else came. We were sitting down to dinner at a fancy restaurant and I tried to order coffee but they told me they didn't serve coffee after 10 pm. So I ordered some weird drink instead. It was really weird becuase we were soon joined by some other people we knew and all of us were ordering by phone. Most of the people were kids I went to high school with. I ordered some weird platter that had rice, chicken, chocolate cake and ice cream on it. I think the rice was in some kind of sauce.
Anyways sometime between when we came in and got our food a bunch of rowdy people started coming into the restaurant. They made a HUGE commotion so the owner called the police. After we ordered I wandered off for a second and came to the same roudy people dancing up a storm on the dance floor.
After I came back, the drinks had been served and some of my "friends" had their meal. There was a drink next to me but I couldn't tell if it was my drink or the person next to me's drink. It later turned out to be his drink when they brought me mine. It was very good even though I don't know what in the world I was supposed to be drinking.
Anyways so soon my food came. I ate the ice cream first. But then for some reason I had to leave briefly. I ended up at home with another friend. We smoked and then my dad drove us back to the restaurant. by the time I got there most people had finished eating. They were clearing away the plates. I saw them clearing away my plate which had been basically finished on me and I got really upset.
The waitress proceeded to bring the two guys who had eaten my meal on me. I started yelling at them because I was upset. For some reason I was really mad that I had only got to eat part of my meal. Then one of the guys apologized and offered to pay for my meal for me. He gave me a mix of Canadian and American dollars to pay for it with. That still didn't help the fact that I was hungry.
That was when I woke up.
Then for some reason I was going out to supper... it was me and someone else came. We were sitting down to dinner at a fancy restaurant and I tried to order coffee but they told me they didn't serve coffee after 10 pm. So I ordered some weird drink instead. It was really weird becuase we were soon joined by some other people we knew and all of us were ordering by phone. Most of the people were kids I went to high school with. I ordered some weird platter that had rice, chicken, chocolate cake and ice cream on it. I think the rice was in some kind of sauce.
Anyways sometime between when we came in and got our food a bunch of rowdy people started coming into the restaurant. They made a HUGE commotion so the owner called the police. After we ordered I wandered off for a second and came to the same roudy people dancing up a storm on the dance floor.
After I came back, the drinks had been served and some of my "friends" had their meal. There was a drink next to me but I couldn't tell if it was my drink or the person next to me's drink. It later turned out to be his drink when they brought me mine. It was very good even though I don't know what in the world I was supposed to be drinking.
Anyways so soon my food came. I ate the ice cream first. But then for some reason I had to leave briefly. I ended up at home with another friend. We smoked and then my dad drove us back to the restaurant. by the time I got there most people had finished eating. They were clearing away the plates. I saw them clearing away my plate which had been basically finished on me and I got really upset.
The waitress proceeded to bring the two guys who had eaten my meal on me. I started yelling at them because I was upset. For some reason I was really mad that I had only got to eat part of my meal. Then one of the guys apologized and offered to pay for my meal for me. He gave me a mix of Canadian and American dollars to pay for it with. That still didn't help the fact that I was hungry.
That was when I woke up.
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